Shuttle Discovery docked after terrorists found onboard.

Discovery launched into a clear Florida sky this week, returning the Shuttle fleet to space and beginning a journey of exploration to the Moon, Mars and beyond. Unfortunately, there were a group of stowaways on board, and not the foppishly-pedophiliac Zachary Smith kind. “I don’t know how we missed it,” stated long time NASA TI-99-4a programmer Stanley ‘Munchman’ Carthridge. “Signs were everywhere; the entire loading station smelled like chutney, sitar music echoed through the air ducts, and even in photographs. I mean he’s right behind Cap’n What’s-his-face,” Carthridge sighed. Discovery lifted off at 9:39 a.m. central time today following a flawless countdown. Over the next 11 days, Discovery’s seven person, and multiple terrorist, crew will demonstrate techniques for inspecting and protecting the Shuttle’s thermal protection system and continue assembly of the International Space Station. NASA also expects to get some idea of what an explosive sacrifice for Allah will look like in outer space. "It might be cool to know what an explosion would really look like, so that ILM could reference it for realism," said Star Wars dork (your name here). Upon entering orbit, Commander Eileen Collins, Pilot Jim Kelly and Mission Specialist Soichi Noguchi found a series of detonators that were attached to key electrical systems. Images from NASA TV shows Ms Collins trying to alleviate the tension by acting like she was going to press one of the detonation buttons. The crew announced they were slightly amused and soon after requested a clearance from ground control to change out of their shit-stained space suits. That order was denied. This picture released by NASA TV shows a man named Blahstin MahAssin - who NASA wishes to question in connection to the series of detonators placed around the Discovery. This image was just outside the space toilet on the aft deck of the ship where crew members commented that the area 'now smells like a camels ass dipped in skunk piss.' Requests from the crew to flush the excrement into the void of space were promptly denied by ground control. In a disturbing turn of events, this image from NASA TV, shows Mission Specialist Stephen Robinson's helmet being violently ripped off by one of the terrorists impersonating an official US Dental Assistant. (AP Photo/NASA TV) In this photo provided by the White House, President Bush helplessly watches the plight of the Space Shuttle Discovery from the Oval Office's Private Dining Room Tuesday, July 26, 2005. "This is turrible news for the space programs," said Prez G-Bush, "but if they blow up that space shuttle, it will show the world just how dangerous terrorism is." The President then had to excuse himself because he couldn't control his laughter. The crew has made plans to anchor themselves to their seats and open the airlock doors to create a vacuum into space. This effort should suck the remaining terrorists out into space where the will be collected by Discovery’s robot arm and crushed to death shortly before the crew begins an eight-hour sleep period. Pleasant dreams, Astros! The next STS-114 status report will be issued shortly after crew wakeup, or earlier, if an explosion is imminent.