Exactly how hot is hell?

After the tremendous lack of feedback on my previous post, I have decided to take time out and talk to our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ about getting a hold of his dad, God. Jesus said that God has totally been acting like a control freak and recently grounded him for holding a Back from the Dead Resurrection Rock-U-Thon 2005 in the palace of heaven while God was away conducting a seminar entitled 'Climbing your own Stairway: 9 Habits of Maximum Happiness for Omnipresent Deities.' "When God came back and saw the place he, like, totally freaked out on my shit," said Jesus who was busy serving out his sentence by putting a endless stack of metaphorical dishes into a dishwasher so big that even God couldn't fill it. "He was like, 'it's about trust, Jesus. And I don't know when my trust in you will come back.' God was like, "what do you think I had the bible written for anyway? For fun? Well I'm not laughin." The he parted the clouds, like he always does, for the 'drama,' and created an example for me by having some teenage kids drinking when their parents were away. 'When the kids were all good and intoxicated," Jesus stated, "he made them all have sex with each other and get the AIDS." Jesus continued, "then, if that weren't enough, he has one of the kids run out into traffic screaming, 'I'm a chicken, I'm a fucking chicken' until he gets clipped by a 1975 Omega going 50 in a 25." Recanting the session had brought Christ to nearly faking tears as he said, "when I told him that I'd seen enough, he said he wasn't finished and injected one of the kids with pure grade heroin." When I asked him why he would do such a thing, he looked at me and said, why I would do this to God." Christ confided, "That shit was pretty fucked up, dude." At this point Jesus began to bore us with how many free throws he could hit from mid court and how he still had the high score on the Dragon's Lair machine at the local pizza shop before the machine broke. When we eventually brought him back around to the story and his father, Jesus said, "Well, out of the chaos comes love. I'm constantly learning about all the specialness that my dad's book, the Bible (winks), has to offer and realize that one's inner self is the best teacher." Christ actually seemed to be boring himself at this point when he became impatient and asked if we could kindly "get the fuck out of my way as I sink this hole in one shot from 500 yards...BOOYA!!! Suck on that, Tiger Wuss!"