More company woes

Today we found out that our jobs here at the company are tetering on the edge of oblivion. Through a series of zany press releases on Yahoo finance we found out that our company has been dipped in gravy and served up with a side of fries (also covered in gravy) to fast track our buyout through the FTC. If approved, we could all be gone within weeks. SICK TIME!!! We have just been sent an email from our current CEO that the rest of this week will be 'Wear Your Jeans to Work' days. Soon after, I expect an email informing us that the rest of the week will be a 'Bring Your Empty Boxes to Work' days which will be followed by the 'Security Guys at the Door to Collect Your Badges' days. Good times. Well, I shall make the most of my remaining salad days here at the office. Long walks through the cafeteria, three hour bathroom breaks, Starbucks anyone? I'm drivin' if you're buyin!' Well, it's getting pretty close to 3pm which means I should be getting home to get my jeans on. Unfortunately, I expect that I will be caught in traffic both ways and will be unable to get back to work today. Also, looking at my unused sick time has given me the vapers...I might have to lay on the couch for a day or so to get over the spins.