Amazing Grace LaForge

Was blind, but now they see as six previously blind patients detect light, motion, identify objects with retinal prostheses. "Fuck yeah! Vision Accomplised, beeyotch" claimed researchers from the University of Southern California as they drank hard from the keg of a successful operation. "Now that this stressful week of presentations and operations is over, I want to get drunk as fast as possible and fuck all those tight ass nurses who were all up in my shit all week. USC RULES!" stated Dr Josh Felcherburg of the Uni-Eye Institute's Doheny Retina division, of Sylmar, Calif. According to Mark Humayun, professor of ophthalmology at the Keck School of Medicine and the lead investigator on the project, "all six of the previously blind patients have been able to detect light, identify objects in their environment, and even perceive motion after implantation with the epiretinal device. Now suck it like I own you, BOOYA!" This study is being conducted under a Food and Drug Administration Investigational Device Exemption (IDE), and I don't think I give a shit about writing any more of this...Sorry for phoning this one in today. I'll make sure all of you who read this blog are all compensated tomorrow.