Identity of 'Deep Throat' Source Revealed

Breaking a silence of 30 years, former FBI official Irving Cohen stepped forward Tuesday as Deep Throat, the secret Washington Post source that helped bring down President Nixon during the Watergate scandal. Within hours, the paper ratified his claim. "Gentlemen, you know what the problem is these days?" , said Cohen, "It's that kids don't have a chance to fail." Cohen went on to say, "In the old days we had a little thing that you used to call Vaudeville. And if you couldn't spin a plate, you didn't eat! Which is what I told the great Sophie Tucker in the song I wrote for her...For the Broadway show "Wig Wam Serenade"...Give me a C! A bouncy C!" Irving Cohen then spread his arms out and broke into song, singing: Sophie Tucker was quite a girl A red-hot mama who could make a plate twirl The kids today, they don't have a clue With those Nine Inch Nails and the band U-2 My scrambled eggs were runny today Dot-dot-dot dee-dee-dee And whatever the heck else you wanna put in there!