Life in the Woolworth's Pet Department

I had a conversation with Brit In The US today about how my office is a lot like the pet department at a Woolworths. The breakdown, briefly, was: Company CEO's are the dogs of the pet shop that sit in the window. Everybody looks at these guys first and these dogs are usually the first ones out of the store into a good home. Once in their new home, the dogs will basically sleep until it's time to occasionally time to catch a frisbee or tennis ball. The active, high energy ones usually are hit by cars in the prime of their lives. VP's are the pet shop cats, and they all have their own agendas. They are all jealous of the dog's pull with prospectful owners. They all piss and shit on each other to get potential visability. They are often picked up by owners who neglect them and they complain about living in their own filth but are unwilling to do anything themselves to change the situation. Next in corporate pet shop line are the Manager Rabbits. Manager Rabbits don't get window space often, and when they do it is because there are too many of them to keep in the shop. As cute as Managers look, under the fur they are dirty beasts who unknowingly reproduce and are so poor at digesting their own shit that they have to eat it again to process all of it. The heat from them piling on top of one another, coupled with the outdoor sun is usually what thins this group down. Then you have the generic employees who are the pet Finches. These are nondescript birds that have the ability to fly to the heavens, but allow themselves to have their wings clipped and remain blindly restrained to the confines of a cage. Finches either die from banging their head against the bars so long that they die of exhaustion or they wind up developing a disorder that has them pulling all of their feathers out in a maddening attempt to become clean. After the conversation, I went to do some research on Finches and I found something alarming in the 'Starting with Finches' manual. I went into MS Word and did a 'FIND/REPLACE' on the words Finch, Cage, & Seed with Employee, Cube, and Project. I then cleaned up some of the measurements (as finches are 4 inches) and what you have is...