My first day back...sorta.

image courtesy of Radeka Photography My vacation is finally over and it's back to the corporate grind again. On Monday of this week, I had to come in during my vacation to make sure the marketing elements for my company were posted and live. It was all so gay, gay, gay, and more importantly; Super Gay. When I say 'Gay' I don't mean it in a derogatory towards homosexuals 'Gay.' I also don't mean it in the 'happy go lucky, gay as a day in May' way either. When I say 'Gay' I mean the licentious, disregard-for-morality-and-correctness-Gay that permiates 90% of corporate offices I've worked in and 100% of the marketing projects I've worked on. Marketing is totally gay in this way. All marketing generally lacks moral and legal restraints and tries to confuse and manipulate people into buying, using, wearing, trying, driving, eating, trading, and all other varieties of '-ing' that they seriously don't need. We see signs all over that say 'Sale' or '2 for $10' and 'Buy 1 get 1 Free,' but the shit that is generally resting just beneath these signs are there for a reason. The signs should read: This stuff couldn't sell at $20 so we marked it down to $17 because are greedy and still wanted to make some money. When that didn't work, we dropped it down to cost which was that $14 sale thing that was here about six months ago. When this tripe still didn't sell, we threw it into that dump bin over there that said 'any title $10.' It still sat there like a tumor on a 600 pound shut in as no body saw it amongst the rest of the shit and, more to the point, nobody cared. We then went through the $9.99, $7.99, and $5.99 deals on this crap but then swiftly realized that we have spent tremendous effort trying to move a product that should never have been in this store in the first place. We have 12 people in our marketing department trying to move this festering stool of a product and the buyer who originally purchased this has moved on to another company. We are stuck with this ghost from the past that would have no interest to anyone, anywhere, at any price. This is why we are giving you two of these pieces of shit for $10. If you weren't sure of throwing your money away on one useless thing, your problem is solved! Here are two relics from the sphincter of our organization for you for just $10. This offer is limited and selection varies by store, so don't miss out, rube. Signage like this won't exist, because people who buy this excrement generally can't read anyway. Plus, who would ever think of putting 10pt text on a piece of P.O.P. signage? That would just be an R.O.I. tragedy!