"Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD (America); and the people whom he hath chosen for his own inheritance (Americans)."
—Psalms 33:12
Reader's Digest's Star-Spangled Bible Edition
All across our nation, America has rallied behind the effort to make it known that our nation is still united. Although we once upheld the Godly principles of God, for some reason, He has chosen to test our faith with Hurricanes and other blights that destroy homes, cars, and businesses.
Well, God, if your intention was to inflict pain on this country - you can consider your mission a successful one. For no doubt, our Country feels the pain and loss of every single soul you have so coldly and calculatedly murdered. As a Nation, we grieve together, we mourn for the innocent killed so nonchalantly at your hands.
However, if you intention was was to weaken and destroy this great Land of ours - oh, God, you have failed so greatly! Do you not know about our Country? Do you not realize how we have fought for our freedoms in the past? Our forefathers gave their lives for the freedom each of us enjoy. We will not lightly let that freedom pass from our hands!
When you come in and hurt our people, we unite as one and we will fight - and we will win! For freedom has always had its price, and it is a price our Country has always been willing and able to pay. We will fight to remain free. You may injure us, you may hurt us, but you will not seperate us and cause us to fall.
All you have done is pull this great Nation together. We are now more tightly knit, more closely working as one, more together than you have seen in your lifetime, God. We have been reminded of the freedoms we sometimes take for granted. You have riled us up, stirred up passions that many had forgotten. Through our pain, we will grow stronger and we will rise up and we will fight our battles. You can not defeat freedom. For it is given to us by your son, Jesus. Remember him? May He have mercy on your soul. For you have already lost this battle.
Patriotism is alive; make no mistake!
11 comments:
wow. Yuo are truely going to hell now.
Dear Lord,
Please do not take Neal's words to heart, for he knows not what he does.
Your servant,
Britty-Boy
Is this supposed to be a joke?
If America and Jesus fought each other, who do you think would win? I think Jesus would because he'd be all "BAM MOTHERFUCKER!" and then America would be all "Oh noes! Another quagmire!. Plus, then Jesus would totally like punch America int he groin while it wasn't looking because he is sneaky like that.
that last comment was, easily, one of the best on this site ever.
Kudos, Global Economy.
Good gracious, that was an awesome read! Refreshing to read a good political satire.
/pshaw
God has mostly foresaken America, and the bipartisan political system is solid evidence of this. Where is a just God in choosing between racism and reverse racism, sexism and reverse sexism, hypocrites and infidels, 'politically correct' censorship and 'moral' censorship, abortion and execution?
As a voting American, one can freeze, burn, or get freezer burn.
All hail the glorious new Roman Republic.
You know, The United States of America is NOT your godhead's country. It is for no specific race, religion or creed. The United States is by its very definition a secular nation, a nation for all peoples. To claim it for any one religion is baseless and hypocritical to its very nature. Your god did not create the United States, we the people did. The hatred of America abroad is only reinforced by assumptions by religious zealots here. Your declarations on this site, in fact, cause divisiveness and hatred between Americans.
Folks shouldn't be allowed to post as "Anonymous". If the strength of your convictions is so weak that you won't put your name to them, shut the fuck up.
Anonymous the Weak-willed said...
"Your declarations on this site, in fact, cause divisiveness and hatred between Americans." So all we have to do is close down this itty-bitty site and all would be right with the world?
Actually, Anonymous, I think a much more appropriate statement, would be this: "Any religious declaration, anywhere, causes divisiveness and hatred." Period.
Dave, I agree with you 110%
Now that I look at your 'about Dave' page, I agree with you 200%, sir!
(please don't hurt me...;-)
Take a look at the "About Me" page from eBay because I talk about some guns that I have, and especially one my brother has, a Barrett .50 Bolt-Action Rifle.
The first time I shot it I was in my final setup, very minor adjustments viewing thru the scope, squeezing the trigger as I was exhaling, when BLAM!!!! Off it goes.
I got my shot, but my brother, the comedian, failed to inform me that the Barrets have low trigger pressures. I mean like 3-5 lbs. Now, this is the exact opposite of what I was expecting. Given the power it takes to load a round, I was expecting at least 8 lbs on the trigger, something that gives good back-pressure for firm contact on the trigger. Not this. You could probably blow hard enoung on this trigger to fire the gun.
If you EVER get the opportunity, shoot one. It's gonna cost you $2-$5 depending on the owner (the $2 is for the bullet - this gun ain't cheap to shoot) and the other money is wear and tear. Still, at least you can tell your friends you shot a Barret.
Get on Google and read how Barrett responded to the ban on .50 cal gun sales in California. Great reading!
Damn, it's hilarious when people mistake really obvious satire for something serious. Very funny entry, Neal, but it's the stupid comments that put it over the top for me.
Post a Comment