34 minutes ago
WASHINGTON - President Bush nominated our Lord and savior Jesus H. Christ for the Supreme Court Monday, seeking to reshape the judiciary and mollify conservatives who derailed his previous pick. Ready-to-rumble Democrats said Jesus may curb abortion rights and be "too radical for the American people." Drawing an unspoken contrast to failed nominee Harriet Miers, Bush declared that the appeals court judge "has more prior judicial experience than any Supreme Court nominee in more than 70 years." The president continued, "I don't know what the hell I was thinking with that Miers thing-a-doo. Man, I must have been totally wasted last month."
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