Mick Jagger and why Pittsburgh is better than Cleveland

My sister, who works in the Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania has had the honor and privilege to escort a Mr. Mick Jagger around the compound. I state this for two reasons; one, to brag on my sister's behalf, and two, to say that there are things that even cultured, world-renowned, leather-faced, artsy-types can do in beautiful downtown Pittsburgh. Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens is among the nation's oldest and largest Victorian glasshouse featuring lush tropical plants, palms, orchids and a miniature orchid collection, ferns and succulent plants, seasonal flower shows and butterflies. Phipps Garden Center conducts environmental programs, ranging from introductory and informal courses to structured programs for avid gardeners and horticultural professionals. Conversely, Cleveland, Ohio has the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and their river caught fire. Can you say 'craphole?' I knew you could... Oh yes, that reminds me, they filmed Mr. Rogers in Pittsburgh; an icon of goodness and wholesomeness that will survive generations of children. Fred Rogers taught children of all ages to share, learn and 'make-believe' in a world of complete possibility and happiness. Cleveland has more rape clinics per-capita than New York. They also have a football team that moved to another state a few years back. Again, Pittsburgh has so much to offer in terms of arts, pride and the humanities that one forgets about heritage of this great city. Cultural continuity in social attitudes, customs, and institutions are what define this town and its people. Cleveland has just recently opened its 10,000th abortion clinic and sponsors this behavior in their city's motto, 'come to Cleveland: We bring out the kid in you!' Yes, Pittsburgh is a beautiful town. Sure, the Baseball team sucks and the winter here will turn your nuts into a pair of frozen peas, but, as my mother once told me, a city shouldn't be defined on balls alone. Come spend some time here in the fall, check out a Steelers game, drink some 'Iron,' and know that your anus will not be repeatedly sodomized like it would be in Baltimore on a daily basis. Shit, that place makes Cleveland look like Xanadu.