A banana a day does a lot of shit

Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose - combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proved that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. Here are some more banana facts for you to *grin* chew on *snicker*: 1. A banana can help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must for our daily diet. BOOYA! 2. Bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to improve your mood and generally make you feel happier. Paxil and Zoloft can suck it! 3. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect a woman's mood during PMS. If a lady starts giving you guff, shove a banana in her mouth! BAM! 4. High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia. Don't believe me? Look it up fool! 5. This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. Fuck yeah! 6. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert. Knock Knock? Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana comin' to kick some knowledge in your brain pan, bitch! 7. High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives. SHIT YEAH! 8. One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system. You just got served a trifecta of hangover health remedies! 9. Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief, fatty. In your face Pept-old Bis-mold! 10. Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness. If your wife is hogging the toilet to herself durning a pregnancu, just shove a banana in her mouth (see PMS cure #3)! 11. Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system. Can't argue with science! 12. Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal. Smoking is for the weak, bananas will make you less of a weak person. TRUTH! 13. Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. These can be re-balanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack. I'd like to see a crappy ass orange do that kind of magic shit! IT JUST CAN'T! ORANGES ARE PWNED BY KING B! 14. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. Had enough, Mr. Apple? If you're dizzy maybe you should have a seat and eat a banana. IN YOUR FACE, NATURE'S OVARY! That said, bananas are also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. This concludes my PowerPoint presentation on Bananas and now I will open up the floor to answer some brief Q&A. Please note, if you have a latex allergy, check with your doctor before eating bananas. If you do have latex related issues, eating a banana could kill you.