So I'm a monster...what of it?

You wanna fight about it? Seriously, I took a quick walk around the office and noticed that there are a great majority of people reading this blog and know that it is my horrible hands that have borne this thing. Well, if the atmosphere were different, I'd be a bit frightened that people knew I was a beast of a shell of a person. For now, it seems the people who are looking at this seem to get the joke and are rolling with the punches...for now. For the people I work with, I know what you are all going through. This is why I have taken three minutes of my day to roll my 20 sided die and conjure up industry analyst, Carl Tsukas, to ask him, ‘how does one survive a company merger or acquisition?’* Big news! Your company was just acquired by another, or you're merging as equals. How can you protect your staff, your programs, and your career? We asked Carl Tsukas, an expert who's helped many high-tech marketing departments deal with the politics of mergers, for his advice on what you should do -- and what you should avoid at all costs: INTERVIEW: Me: Carl, your company has been acquired by another -- and as a marketing executive, you're wondering how do I continue to do my job during the closing period? Carl: Holy shit, are you serious? We’re being acquired? By who? Me: During this time, what do you propose to tell your staff and contractors? Carl: God damnit, are you fucking kidding me? This is probably why Mr. Williamson didn’t shake my hand in the bathroom last week? Fuck! Me: With the varying levels of complexity and budget constraints, will you continue with business as usual, or should you look to make big changes? Carl: This is total bullshit! Y’know, it’s funny, there are tons of guys around here that don’t do shit and I bet they are all safe. Its guys like me who bust their asses who get let go of first. Just fuckin’ hilarious! Me: You said in your book that "Any marketing executive of the acquired company can shine in the eyes of the acquirer if they can show that they're able to keep their customer's confidence and continue to drive forward." Carl: Fuck that noise! I’m outta here. * This document is +1 with healing and immunity to orcs