Power Team Brings Strong Message

Stronger to a commitment of integrity and excellence. Stronger in our commitment to children of the church. Stronger in our personal pursuit of the one, the only, the Jesus H. Christ. Are you ready to show your faith as we destroy a bunch a shit in the name of the almighty? It's POWER TIME!!!!!! Our new vision of excellence & integrity, coupled with our God-infused muscle mass allow us to focus on winning the lost by motivating, encouraging, & inspiring. Keep in mind that we are in no way affiliated with The Power Team from the 1980's that was involved in cocaine trafficking through local churches. We conduct ourselves in the highest ethical & Christ-like manner. Now who's ready to watch the power of Jesus flow through our Apostle Eddie. Eddie can drive 16 penny nails through a board with his bare hand, can snap a crescent wrench in half, and holds two records for breaking ice and concrete with his head. He is truly a passionate and clear communicator of the Lord's word. Not only is he going to lay on a bed of nails, but he'll be crushed between TWO beds of nails, vaguely similar to Jesus Christ when he was crucified, while Jeremy bench presses 400 lbs on top of him. Eddie; show these fine Christians your power and faith in Jesus Christ! Hallelujah! Our next act of faith and devil defiance comes to you via Power Team member, Anthony. In his career, he has blown up over 1000 hot water bottles without failing. He has bent over 20 tons of steel in his teeth and crushed over 10 tons of ice last year with his fists, forearms and head. He is also an excellent school assembly speaker. Now watch as focuses his powers of faith and Christ to destroy a stack of cement bricks that represents the great temptation of Satan. Tell the devil it's time take a hike...with Jesus. Hieeeee-chaaaaaa! Wasn't that amazing to see the Lord working through our team's powerful biceps and forearms? This would be a great time to remind you that when we mention turning your life over to Christ, we in no way mean it in the same way The Power Team from the 1990's did by conducting their underage prostitution crusade. We continually pride ourselves with not selling your children for sex and pornography anymore. This is the pledge of THE NEW POWER TEAM! In no way is this pledge more apparent than in our next disciple, John. He is known as the "Human Canon Ball" for running full speed and diving head first into a wall of ice 9' thick! He posses the strongest hands on the team and can rip two decks of cards in half. Imagine what he could do to your neck if he found out you told your parents something you weren't supposed to. You can have the same strength we do if you turn your life over to Christ with us today. John will be ripping a license plate with the inscription, "SIN4EVR" to show how Jesus tears up your sins when you turn your life over to him. Tell that Satan he's got a one way ticket on the Pain Train that is salvation! Now rip that bitch up, Mutha Fucka!!! All right well the faith and blow is drying up in this God factory so we've got to move on to spread the good word about the magic of fucking Jesus. By saying 'fucking Jesus' we in no way affiliated with the 2001 Power Team's: Fuckin' Jesus Holy War Rockathon Extrav-bong-anza that claimed the lives of 33 people. We just mean that Jesus was fucking 'right-on.'